Thank you so much for coming to my Bat Mitzvah. I am so honored to have you all here as I affirm my Jewish identity and become a woman. Today, my torah portion tells of the census and the—

Huh? Wait… this isn’t my Bat Mitzvah? It’s my “About Me” section? Oh. I guess I prepared the wrong thing.

In that case, here are some fun facts about me:

• My grandma named my mom after a stripper. In other words, comedy writing is my birthright.

• I was on the varsity javelin team in high school.

• I have a slight obsession with Jane Austen novels and regency era fashion.

• I’m convinced I can do the worm.

• I love to tinker. Not with gears — with words. I love how adding one single syllable can make all the difference in getting a laugh or a tear.

I’m also currently double-majoring in Advertising and Film/TV at Boston University (the one in Boston).

So, if you want to talk my favorite shows (Parks and Rec, Derry Girls, and Avatar: The Last Airbender) or how much I love the Betty White Snickers commercial, I hope you’ll hit my line!